Sometimes we don’t realize our fears until we experience change. This change can be a great thing, a dream come true, but sometimes in this new place we find ourselves, we experience challenges that take us by surprise.
I have been married for a little over 6 years now. My husband and I were married young and I don’t really know how it is to live alone; to not have my parents or sister in the house or neighbors down the hall. All of my adult life I have lived in an apartment, and there are some real advantages to living in an apartment. One great advantage is that in most apartment communities, you have peace of mind knowing that your neighbors had to pass a criminal background check. Granted, this is not a sure-fire way to eliminate criminal activity but the chances are that you don’t live with a bunch of serial killers. Another advantage to apartment living is that often your building has controlled access. Unless your neighbors buzz anybody and their brother in that ring, only authorized visitors may enter.
Being tucked safely away in my little corner of the building, (usually on the highest floor) I have not experienced the vulnerability of doors and windows that lead right to the outside world. I have not really had to worry about anyone being able to look in to my house or creeping in my yard. This has all changed. God has been so good to me and has blessed my family with a home of our own. I’m sure my former downstairs neighbors are glad my 3 boys have a house of their own almost as much as I am! I am looking forward to improving our new little home (I love fixing and painting stuff) and making it a great place to raise my family. I have been dreaming of this day for a long time, but I was surprised to find that I am truly afraid of the dark. I am nervous about how easily a home can be accessed. Before now, I never really thought, “Wow, windows are a terrible idea. Someone could just break in!” or imagined being fearful of looking out into the darkness to see a prowler. When the screen door doesn’t latch, and swings open, I find myself wondering if someone is at the door. With all the anticipation of being in a home of my own, I never would have thought having a home would cause me to be fearful.
Now I know we live in a crazy world and there are truly bad people who are out to hurt others, but this is ridiculous! This is not how God wants us to live! 2 Timothy 1:7 says that God has not given us a spirit of FEAR, but of power and love and a SOUND MIND. Also 2 Corinthians 10:5 says we are to cast down imaginations and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God. Fear of darkness is real. Darkness is often associated with evil and criminal activity is statistically higher at night, but we can let our imaginations get the best of us. We can let this fear of the dark exalt itself in our minds over the knowledge of God. Our God has all power and he has given US power! Sometimes this fear paralyzes us and we forget to put our trust in God.
2 Corinthians 10:5 goes on to say that we are to bring into captivity every thought, and I know this can be easier said than done, but Philippians 4:13 reminds us that we can do ALL things through Christ who gives us strength! Not only does he give us strength in these times of fear but Psalms 18:28 declares that the Lord is our light and he illuminates the darkness around us! Now I may keep a light on and use my kids as an excuse but I am going to trust God to bring me peace in this new experience. I am going to walk boldly into my kitchen at night, look out into the darkness and know that my God is in control. Now if I do happen to see a prowler, I’ll be sure to call the police, but I am so thankful for God’s Word. He truly cares for us and pays attention to the little things in our life.
Lord, help me to trust you more each day!
THE BLESSED MESS,
Harmony Krebs